Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
