His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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