She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
