I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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