She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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