i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
