she was so not down for the gang bang
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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