Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to wash the frat house off of me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
