..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it because I queefed?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
