I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
