Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
