Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
