I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
