i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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