Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
