My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
