DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
