That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
