you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
