Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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