ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
