i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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