dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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