My friends, they love my intelligence
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
