We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
