I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Even my vagina gasped.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
