my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
