My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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