I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sex in the backyard? Check.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
