I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
