question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
