I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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