I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
