i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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