i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
