note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
