I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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