just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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