Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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