You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
