I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
