Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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