BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No subtext here. People are naked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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