We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
