All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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