Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Mom said you looked used
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
