think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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