Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
