when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
