I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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