Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
