Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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