So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
